Wolfgirl: Suicide

Sorry for not posting this week, it has been a hard time for me and my friends. Monday afternoon, I found out that an old friend of mine killed himself on Saturday. It crushed me, making me angry, sad, confused, guilty, thoughtful, and sorry all in turn. I was not really sure what I would post about it, but I knew I had to. I started to write many times but I could never find the right words. Just when I would think I had it right, I would start to feel something totally different and begin again.


I have so much sympathy for his family; his mom, dad, and his sister who is a senior at Twilighterr’s school. They must be going through such a hard time right now and my prayers go out to them. I know they have, and will be, facing some hard times; even though it is none of their business, people will talk and gossip and be hurtful. If it were me in that situation, I have no idea how I would be able to handle myself. They and his friends, we loved him so much and never had a clue this would happen.

His name was Noah and I have not talked to him in over two years. He, Hannah Riley and I used to talk and joke around in science class. He had long, shaggy brown hair (but he cut it really short recently for ROTC) and was a normal teenager. He had many friends, including Chibi, RuRu and many of my other friends. They and the rest of those close to him, never even noticed a change in him. No one had a clue, so on one reached out.

This whole thing has made me realize how serious suicide is. Noah was my age, only a freshman in high school with so much more life left to live, yet he was still compelled to kill himself. I think that’s why his death has affected me so; I don’t understand what could drive him to do that with so much more left to live. If I died right now, I would never get to do so many things that I look forward to later in life. I don’t know what could ever drive me to give all that up. So many people my age romanticize suicide, through music, poetry and art, when it is in fact a painful, hurtful and confusing thing. How anyone could think that was cool or fun just boggles me.

I love you guys and there is always a reason to keep living! If you ever need anything just message me.
Wolfgirl